Prayer…

A Prayer in the Dark

Finally, the house is quiet, and I am alone. I need to break, to feel all of it, but I cannot trust what will come out if I just let go. The stillness of the dark room gives a false sense of security as if the blackness surrounding me erases the reality of the day.

As I sit here in the dark, big hot tears begin to roll down my cheeks. The sea of uncertainty churns inside of me. Fear of the unknown consumes me. I must make a move but cannot decide which way to go. Maybe I can just sit here quietly sobbing a little longer.

Then the words tumble out of me without control, full of pain and with a hint of anger. “Where are you in this?! I am beyond scared of what is next. You can make this stop. I do not want to have to do this. This was not part of the plan. At least not now! Please, Dear God, take it all away! Please do not make me do this!”

At that moment, I am unsure if I am alone in the dark or if He is sitting next to me. Am I a fool for praying? Does He really hear me? Does He really care? Is He really there?

Have you had this moment?

All the Questions

The prayer above came at the beginning of a long journey that forever changed my life – and I was already exhausted. It was the first time life had taken a major unexpected turn. It was the first time I had to trust God to be enough. It was the first time I had to decide if God was good, no matter the end result. It was the first time I had to decide if I believed that God is who He says He is. So, prayer has forever taken on new depth and meaning since that night.

As we have embarked on this journey together these past few months, I hope that you have seen glimpses of who God is, as I have come to know Him. When I wrestled with that seemingly simple yet enormous question, “Is God who He says He is?” I had to take it in chunks. It was almost like walking down a staircase where every step led to the next layered question.

(This will be a brief overview of my two-year process. If any of this resonates with you, I highly encourage you to answer these questions for yourself. I’m happy to talk more with anyone that wants to too.)

• Is God real?
  • I already landed on the answer to this question many years ago. My answer was “yes.” My testimony, to some extent, is in an earlier post, The Who and What.
• Who is God?
  • He is a triune God (one God in three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit).
    • One God: Deuteronomy 6:4, 1 Corinthians 8:4, Galatians 3:20, 1 Timothy 2:5
    • Three persons – Father, Son, Holy Spirit: Genesis 1:26, Genesis 3:22, Genesis 11:7, Isaiah 6:8, Isaiah 48:16, Matthew 3:16-17, Matthew 28:19, 2 Corinthians 13:14
    • Each separate in their role, each distinctly God: John 14, 1 John 4:14, John 16:13-14, Acts 2:33
    • For more on the Trinity look here: About the Trinity, Doctrine of the Trinity, Explaining the Trinity *Please note that there is a lot of thick theological information on just this topic. So, don’t get too weighed down by it. The Holy Spirit will reveal each layer in God’s perfect timing.
  • God is perfect. Perfect love, perfect justice, perfect provider, perfect redeemer, perfect in all ways. Everything God does is perfect.
    • Do I believe God in His perfection?
    • Do I believe God is good all the time? Even in the bad stuff or when the plan is so far from what I imagine good to be?
    • Do I trust Him to be good in the bad stuff?
  • God is in and outside of time. He always has been and always will be.
    • Do I believe God knows everything? Does nothing surprise Him?
    • Do I believe God cares about me and my day-to-day?
    • Do I believe God can and will use all things for my good and His glory – even the bad stuff?
  • God created all things out of an overflow of their love for one another.
    • Where does that put me in relation to God?
    • How does my perception of good/evil, right/wrong, and love/justice compare to God’s?
  • God is all powerful
    • Do I believe God can heal and mend all my life’s sick and fractured parts?
    • Do I believe God will heal and mend all my life’s sick and fractured parts?
  • God cannot change
    • Do I trust that He will be enough, always?
    • Can I completely surrender and trust Him?

As you probably guessed, “yes” was the overarching answer to these questions. So, why are we talking about prayer, and how does it relate to all my questions? We are talking about prayer because God is real, He is perfect, we were created for Him, we were created to have a close intimate relationship with Him, and He is good all the time – even when it hurts, even when it is scary, and He is worthy of our trust. God established prayer, in His infinite wisdom and perfection, as our means of communicating with Him. Prayer is how we develop and maintain the intimate relationship that we were created for. Prayer is also essential in the search for the answers to your questions about God.

What is Prayer

“Christian prayer in its full New Testament meaning is prayer addressed to God as Father, in the name of Christ as Mediator, and through the enabling grace of the indwelling Spirit.”

International Standard Bible Encyclopedia (“Prayer” by J. C. Lambert)

Prayer is God’s ordained mechanism for believers to communicate with Him. More simply put, prayer is the way we talk to God. You may ask, “Can people that don’t believe in God pray?” Yes, but if you don’t believe in God, are you actually praying? For prayer to be a prayer you have to, at some level, believe you are talking to God or at least earnestly hope you are.

Prayer can be a deep conversation in a quiet space on your knees, with your head bowed. Prayer can be the resonating joy in your heart as you dance, arms raised to a worship song. Prayer can be the ache of your heart while you are crumpled up on the floor, bawling your eyes out, crippled with fear. Prayer can be a conversation as you drive to work. How do you talk to God?

Is There a Specific Way to Pray So That God Will Hear Me?

No. The only requirement for prayers to be heard is that you believe God is there and He is God. Even that is not as big of a hurdle as you may think. In Matthew 17:20 Jesus gives his disciples the key to unlocking the power of God. The key is faith. Faith that God is trustworthy to provide all good things, even if it does not seem good from your limited point of view. Faith that He will provide you with the necessary tools to get you through whatever you are faced with. Faith that you are His Beloved no matter what mess you find yourself in. “Faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains.” So, He is not asking for much. This requirement of faith can also be found in James 4:3, 1 John 5:14-15, and my favorite Mark 9:24.

The beauty of this is that there are no requirements for perfection, good deeds, having it all together, or any other thing that may be holding back your prayers. God wants us to pray. He wants us to pray all the happy, grateful prayers. He wants us to pray all the reverent prayers. He wants us to pray all the ugly, painful prayers. He wants us to pray all the angry, “it’s not fair” prayers. He wants us to pray all the exhausted last resort prayers. “God, I believe! Help my unbelief!”

Even in Matthew 6:9-13 Jesus’s outline for prayer addresses the posture of our heart when we pray. It’s okay to pray an honest, imperfect prayer. It is not okay to treat God like a magic genie that will grant you wishes or approach him as an equal that you can manipulate and use.

Does God Really Answer Prayers?

Yes. The very Christian response (that I used to roll my eyes at) is, “sometimes the answer is ‘no.'” And then you rebut with, “how is He a ‘good’ God if He says ‘no’ to this…”. To which I say… “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9.

I cannot begin to know what God knows. “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! “Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor?” Romans 11:33-34. ” “…What is [my] life? For [I am] a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes” James 4:14. “Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow.” Psalm 144:4. “For, “All people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the work of the Lord endures forever.” 1 Peter 1:24-25.

The more you press into God, the more you are transformed into the likeness of God (sanctification). The more you are transformed into God’s likeness, the more you can, at a minimum, trust that God is good even when the answer is ‘no.’ There is coming a day, when we are fully glorified, that all will be revealed. “For there is nothing hidden that will not be disclosed, and nothing concealed that will not be known or brought out into the open.” Luke 8:17. I can rest in that because God keeps His promises.

Let’s Wrap This Up

Honest prayers are never foolish. They are immeasurably powerful. In Ephesians 6:10-18 we are told how to fight against evil rulers, evil authorities, dark powers, and spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. God outlines the armor we cover ourselves in to protect us as we live life and are attacked. After armoring up, the very next thing we do is pray. Root yourself in truth and then pray. Pray for more truth to be revealed. Pray for God to go before you and clear the path. Pray for God to go with you and sustain you.

Prayer is so powerful.

Cancer forced me to look at life differently, to accept my own mortality and all that entails. It also forced me to evaluate my belief in God. God could no longer be a culturally acceptable piece of my life. He was either real or not. I knew that if I found God to be real, then I had to submit to all of who He is or none of who He is. I was either all in or all out. Is God a God I trusted? Is He who He says He is?

I think at some point, you will have to wrestle with your belief in God. To believe in Him is not to agree with most of who He is. You have to commit to all of who He is. To do that, you first have to know who He is. One great way to start is to pray. Another is to read your bible. I’ll be the first to admit that reading the Bible is hard. I highly recommend reading alongside a bible study because we have an unconscious propensity to overlay our view of the world on scripture. Context matters and will help you know God more. There are a lot of excellent Bible studies out there. I love everything that comes out of She Reads Truth, or He Reads Truth for men.

A Prayer for You, Dear Friend

Father God in Heaven,

Thank you for the men and women that have come to this page today. Thank you for your word, that I might talk about who you are with context. Thank you, God, for the gift of prayer.

Today I ask that your Holy Spirit stir affections, curiosity, and/or tension in the hearts of these readers. I pray Lord that you use that stirring to motivate the pursuit of knowledge to know you more. I pray Lord that you come alongside each of them and pull back the veil of who you are for them.

May your ping in the skeptic’s heart continue to be felt. May you provide perfect comfort to the broken heart. May you provide perfect rest for the exhausted heart. And, may you, in all things, help us see the joy that surrounds us regardless of circumstance. Give us ears to hear and eyes to see.

It’s in Jesus’ name I pray,

Amen