First, I must apologize for the delay in getting this month’s Blog out. The worst thing about having kids 16 months apart is that they go through the two worst sleep regressions at the same time, the dreaded 4-month and 18-month – 2-year regressions. I am so tired! Needless to say, turning my study notes and scribbled half-thoughts into a coherent narrative has taken a little longer. Please forgive me. But look at these faces! Totally worth the sleep deprivation.
Father’s Day
This month we honor Fathers. As I am not a father, I do not plan to come at Father’s Day the same way I did Mother’s Day, but I do want to take a minute to highlight the amazing fathers I have in my life. My father, who taught me the power of words. He taught me that how and when you say things matter just as much as what you said. My father-in-law, who brings heartwarming light and laughter to the room when he plays with his grandchildren. Last, but not at all least, my husband. God knew exactly what I needed in a husband. I am so thankful for the man you are in our marriage and the father you are to our girls. We are blessed more every day by you.
For Father’s Day, I want to talk about my all-time favorite parable in the Bible, The Prodigal Son. An obvious reason is that I am a prodigal in many ways. The main reason is that this parable has something for everyone: parents, children, friends, and neighbors. If you don’t get something out of this parable you aren’t reading it correctly.
The Parable of the Prodigal Son
“Jesus continued: “There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, ‘Father, give me my share of the estate.’ So he divided his property between them. “Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country, and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything. “When he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired servants.’ So he got up and went to his father. “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him, and kissed him. “The son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ “But the father said to his servants, ‘Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let’s have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ So they began to celebrate. “Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.’ “The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!’ “ ‘My son,’ the father said, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ ””
Luke 15:11-32 NIV
Things that stand out
What about the father stands out to you? To me, the love the father has for his wayward son is evident. As well as his forgiveness, generosity, and gentleness. Do any other attributes stand out to you?
This parable is designed to provide insight into God the Father, our ultimate father. As we are all image barriers, (I believe that means we display glimpses of God in our intangible attributes as well as our physical attributes) the unconditional love a parent has for their child is a shadow of the deep and wide love that God has for us.
Let’s break it down and add context
The parable starts with the younger son asking his father for his share of the inheritance early. It would be very reasonable to assume that this father was a well-to-do landowner where the sons were expected to work on the land alongside the father, managing the estate. I can assume this as the money the younger son received (1/3 of the total available inheritance, Deuteronomy 21:17) allowed him to move to another country and live the high life for an extended period of time (Luke 15:13-14).
While some of you may not think anything of asking for your inheritance early, this would have been seen as incredibly disrespectful. The father was within his rights and would have been culturally supported, to deny the son’s request and cut him off completely for asking. Instead, the father grants his request and allows his son to leave without shame.
The son lives a life of no work and all play and eventually uses up all the money his father gave him. Once the money is gone so are all the people that helped spend it, (Luke 15:16). He was so desperate that he sold himself into slavery, similar to an indentured servant, and longed to eat the food given to the pigs. The son is now working a farm as a slave instead of working his father’s land as an honored son. He hit rock bottom.
The son decides to return home and beg his father to take him in as a servant. It is important to know that at that time, when a son takes his inheritance early and squanders it as this son did, then tries to return to his community, the community would perform a ceremony called kezazah. The older men would throw down a pot in front of the young man – symbolizing the broken relationship that now existed between the community and this ‘sinner.’ This separated him from his family, his community, and his faith.
At this point in the parable, it says, “But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him, and kissed him.” (Luke 15:20). What is significant about this?
First, the father was hopeful for his son’s return. To be able to see his son from far off he must have been waiting and looking for him.
Next, he ran to his son. This may seem insignificant to us, but it was of great significance to a first-century middle eastern man. For the father to be able to run, he would have to hitch up his tunic and bare his legs. It was extremely disgraceful for a man to show his legs at this time in history. By doing so he took the attention off the wayward son and put it squarely on himself. He was able to reach his son first and embrace him. This told the townspeople that no shame was to come to his son. That he is accepted and in good standing.
As the son tries to give his speech about returning as a servant, the father cuts him off, kisses him and declares a banquet be held. The older brother, the rule-following, responsible brother is very frustrated by all this. How could his father forgive his screw-up brother so easily? Where’s the accountability, where’s the consequence?! What’s the point in following all the rules if forgiveness is so freely given? The older brother not only thinks these things, but he says them. The father again is dishonored. He, again, has the right to rebuke and sever the relationship with his older son, but again, the father responds with patience and gentleness. He goes out to his first born saying all he has is his and reorients his perspective on the joy of having his brother home.
What does this all mean for us?
Let me start by saying, I am, to varying degrees, the prodigal son and the older brother. Sometimes within the same day. Can you relate? How often do you tell God “No”, or hesitate to trust that His way is better? How often do you seek justice for the wrongs you see in your world or those committed against you? Do you forgive as you have been forgiven? When you allow yourself to see where you turn from God or buck against God, it allows you to also see just how unbelievably good God is.
We have a father that longs to have a relationship with us that is rooted in a desire to be with Him. Forged by a love for Him, not an obligation to Him. The father in the parable allows the son to disrespect him and go his own way. This is exactly what God does when a believer turns from Him to follow their own path. This is a picture of our free will and a believer’s choice (although, I believe that this can apply to everyone) to turn from God to live a life of willful disobedience: living for self-gratification – “you do you”, in the no-rules-nation of whatever-makes-you-happy (psalm 81:12, Roman’s 1:18-32). God will turn you over to your desires.
The son basically said, “I want out from under your authority and want to live my life without your restrictions and rules”. This is an extreme case of turning from God. Make no mistake, even the smallest failure to act when God says “go, speak, move” is an act of disobedience. We are choosing our way over God’s. We are saying, “I do not trust you are leading me in a way that is best for me”. We may not end up wallowing with pigs, but I have yet to find that my way was better.
We also have a father that is “longsuffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). He “desires all men to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth” (1 Timothy 2:4). The Father in the parable was patiently waiting and hoping for his son’s return. God does the same with us. He also bore the shame to save the son when he ran through the streets. Jesus put on every sin and felt the weight of all our shame so that we might be seen as blameless.
When the son attempts to earn his favor, the father abruptly cuts him off. He puts rings on his fingers and shoes on his feet, then declares a banquet be held in honor of his return. Some believe this is a very subtle nod to the fact that we cannot earn our salvation. In fact, with the older brother – a more legalistic believer, if you will – the father again shows him grace and reminds him that the law is not what saves you. It is only in God’s perfect, sufficient sacrifice that we are saved.
Final recap
The characteristics of the father parallel those of God.
- God wants a deep personal relationship with you that you also long for. He wants it enough to give us free will to turn from Him and go our own way. So that, we are all-in when we choose to live a life for God.
- God is patient and gentle with us. He went so far as to die for us. He eagerly awaits each of our return to Him.
- We can never out sin the blood of Jesus. We will always find forgiveness and open arms when we wake up and run back to Him.
- The cross is sufficient. We cannot earn our salvation through paying off debt or white-knuckle control our way to good standing. “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9
If Father’s Day is hard for you, I am sorry. Unfortunately, fathers are humans that can disappoint us, hurt us, abandon us, or die on us. They may be the most underrated parent throughout history, but the most influential in the shaping of our worth and identity. Father Wounds run deepest of all. Praying for healing where those wounds exist.
If you are someone that has a rare gem of a father, make sure he knows how you see him. Being a parent is hard. It’s always good to hear that you’ve done a few things right.
No matter what kind of father you did or did not have, they were not/are not perfect. Because of that, it can be hard to see God for the perfect father that He is. I hope this parable brings a deeper meaning to the perfect love of the Father. And reminds you that you always have a home in God’s house. All you have to do is ask to come in.